Another month...another year...

I'll try not to express and describe how time passes by. I turned 25 earlier this month. That's when it hits me that, wow, can't believe, I'm 25 already. Been 2 years out of college, working for 2 years, and settling down at a new place, in my job, and what's next?
(By the way, thanks for the birthday cards! And gifts! Thank you! Some of them remind me of my past while some remind me of my far future...)

The trip home was great. It's true that it's not easy to come back after being home for 2 weeks. Even though I get back to the usual drill quick, but deep down inside, I still feel a hint of 'homesickness'. Guess that's the magic of family and love.

Anyway, the trip back wasn't all smooth sailing either. Our flight from JFK to BOS was canceled, again!!! And with the inclement weather forecasted for the next day, we decided to wing it and rented a car and drove up. Because of the heavy snow in NY and part of CT, the drive took us 6 hours, instead of 3.5 hours. By the time I got back to my apartment, it was 5am. Took a shower, unpacked a little and I went straight to work at 6.45am. By 3pm that day, I was more dead than a zombie. Even after 3 coffees and a redbull, my eyelids were barely open.

I'm not sure if it's my aging, or because of the drive, but it took me a good week to totally overcome the jet-lag. I'll be heading home again for my brother's wedding in May. This was somewhat brought forward. So, I'll be home for a shorter stint, traveling back on May 12th, reaching May 13th, leaving for the States again on May 18th. 7 days vacation, spending 2 days on the plane.

Other news, in preparing for my upcoming exam (CAS 7) on May 4th, I'm now waking up at 4, studying from 5 - 9ish 10am on weekdays, and a few more hours here and there on weekends. So, May will be a big month for me. First, the exam, then, the trip home, and finally, closing on my house and moving! Can't pack anymore into a month than that...

Also, something happened few weeks back that surprised myself. It's just interesting that I did what I did. Not to reveal too much, I did what I believe is right. I did something out of the ordinary. I let myself heard. Not sure how that well sit with others, but, I think I've done myself proud. I wasn't even sure why I actually did it. You know that feeling, where you think you're gonna say something, but ended up keeping it to yourself because you're too afraid. Well, I didn't keep it to myself over that. I did it in a professional way, requested, inquired and responded with what I had in mind. If someone is gonna preach about something, I'll make sure that I'll hold them to their preaching. And NO, this has nothing to do with religion. It's about values, more about principals. (Thanks for my 'life' coach, and my email buddies. You know who you are...)

So, upon turning 25. I thought, what will I be in 5 years? Other than being 30, will I be a guy with attachment? Will I be in a different city, with a different job? A different country? Do I want to be at a different place? Do I want to give up the bachelor life and turn to a new chapter in life? Do I want to chase my dreams - if I know what they are, or be slightly contented and let opportunities seek me?

All the waking up at 4am in the morning and studying for 4-5 hours every morning, sometimes got me thinking, why am I doing this? What's keeping me going? Every now and then, I'll be able to think that I'm doing this because I want to get it over with. I'm close to getting this done. Just 3 more exams, best case scenario, that's 15 months away. I won't be able to deny that's not a tempting reason. Part of it because I do like the stuff I'm learning. Call me a dork, call me a nerd, but hey, some of them are rather interesting. I believe the main reason I'm willing myself on is I think there's much more in life. Hence, by doing my best the fastest, I can do more. What will I be doing? I don't know, but, it's definitely than not doing anything. Just keep throwing them at me, and I'll let you know when I can't handle it.

Sometimes, I couldn't help but to think back to all the what ifs... what if I didn't do that, what if I did it in a different way... But, well, what if I didn't think about all the what ifs?

I think why I'm doing what I'm doing is so that I won't regret what I didn't try the hardest at whatever I did when I'm looking back at a later point in life, and then I think, what if I had tried harder...

Funny how and what I think about upon reaching 25... I mean, can't believe that I'm 25 already. People tell me how much I've achieved... Well, not bad at all.
But, well, come to think about it, life's short, there's no guarantee for how many 25 years ahead is ahead of me...