Could be better, could be worse...

So, i got back all my papers... and nothing much to talk about them, the title reflects what i've in mind... i wasn't so cool about it yesterday though... I was pretty upset and pissed about the paper i got back yesterday... but, it's all good now.... well, after some thoughts and reflections, I think it's no point for me to be upset at it anymore...

so, here goes my thoughts... I'm really impressed by a lot of my friends who can be so cool about their grades... I mean, they are happy-go-lucky with their grades, and they will be all happy just being above the mean... well, my brothers too... i can never feel the same... I just feel that I've to ace every single midterm, exam... not one less... or less, i would be upset about it... depress, maybe not, but unhappy with it, definitely. so, thinking back, i started to question why am I studying? (BEWARNED: it's one of those ramblings again... steer away, push the back button, or Alt + F4 while u still have time)

do i study because I want to learn? or because I want my grade? i want a pretty nice A on my transcript, and another item crossed out from my A-list. Is that really what I want? I've no idea. I know that learning for the sake of studying is bad... i mean, learning should be fun... gaining knowledge shouldn't be a stressful thing... but, it became one when the need to get good grades comes in... why is there such a need? well, i would say, for me, I was brought up this way... well, i don't think that's a fair statement, it's more like I've been behaving this way... I grew up this way... how? why? when it started? I've no idea. But probably because I started early, and hence had a headstart over most of my peers, I excelled in studies from pre-school, and had been the fore-runner ever since, I think it is only 'normal' for me to be this way til whenever it will be. So, I only have a seat at the A Train... no room for me in the B Train... so, to get on the A Train, I have to study harder, put in more effort, and also be disappointed more often... if only I can take a break and be on the B Train... i think, by only going to lectures, I will catch the B Train without a doubt...

so, is this still about learning or wat? Can I ever look at a course, thinking back only about what I've learned from it, giving it a fair consideration regardless of my grades?? I would say no... well, but 1 thing i learned so far is to know what you are getting out from a class, than to scoring an A in the class... it's possible to score an A without knowing much in some classes... but what's the point???

but what hurt most is that u know ur stuffs, but u are just not doing well in the exam... but wtf... shit happens... so, cool... chill... just be more careful next time... and it shouldn't be too bad...

alright... enough of being emotional...

so, Tuesday... the usual.. work, classes...
come Wednesday... the very usual, work, classes, UROP... this UROP session was the longest ever... started with my walk from my Econ class to the Alumni Center for the UROP meeting... stopped by at the Beasters, at the Michigan League for a quick bite...(i didn't know that food will be served at the UROP session), so, i had Mountain Dew...(thanks to some to0-much-time-and-trying-to-be-gain-publicity-by-acting-stupid-groups, i have to settle with Pepsi products, Mountain Dew(which is second best) to Coke... with a Chicken Quesadillas... the last one they have they... which is pretty good... trotted to the Alumni Center, like half a block away from the League... ok... so, we started with some sitting, and waiting... not so much wishing... (lame attempt of trying to be funny), and then, a preview of the show started... more like a student trying to make his professor understandable to a bunch of ignorant students... well, he was trying to tell us about the vision of the composer Louis Andriessen... try searching it up... and see what u get... so, the concert started with a piece of ringing bells, beside the bell tower... pretty special... but, those weird notes... and too "Avant-Garde" music was really hard to swallow... and digest...
it followed by 2 pieces at the Power Center... the first one was bad... i mean, really... the music was too weird for my liking... the vocalist and the violinist were really good... but the music, just the music... the 2nd one... the music was alright... but the lyrics... i don't see much meaning, and it's played with a short... the short, Not Mozart (a full 20+ minutes of nudity of 3 dancers...) grotesque... mind-boggling... disturbing... thought provoking(not really)... nightmarish...!!! traumatizing...!!!!

got back to my room at about 10pm, did the hw, and then, nothing much...

Thursday... work, classes, got back exam to know that i got screwed... pissed for the rest of the day... but pissed that i was pissed too...

Friday... well... it's always good... work, classes... the slacky gsi of my financial economics discussion was really shitty too... imagine this, he worked out a math problem before hand... which is totally wrong... and he was still able to write it down on the board... in an equation, he multiplied the Left hand side(LHS) by 3, but he kept RHS.... and no, the RHS is not zero...
and then, he solved the same equation... and got the right answer... actually, he was only trying to solve a 4 equations, 4 unknowns problem... but, it can be simplified to 2 unknowns... and he screwed that up....!!! amazing... then, the next discussion... wasn't too bad... then, followed by a meeting for my UROP...

I got back to my rooom and done with my week at 3pm... awesome... what to do next?? nothing much... since i skipped my lunch... i had an early dinner... a steak burrito... at 4... watched a couple of series... and then, walked around aimlessly... and then, napped from 8 til 10...:) wanted to go to CCRB... but overslept... will be going there tmr... well... i've been slacking on my weekly 10 miles run target...