Just something funny...

Shit Happens...Why???

In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions.And the Assumptions were without form.And the Plan was without substance.

And the darkness was upon the face of the workers.And they spoke among themselves, saying, "It is a crock of shit, and it stinks."
And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a pail of dung, and we can't live with the smell."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying "It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying "It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength.
And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with powerful effects."
And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.And the Plan became Policy.

And that is how shit happens.


One liners...
Beer nuts are a dollar sixty nine deer nuts are under a buck...

No matter how good you are, you are never better at tennis than a wall.

You would be disappointed if you were to type *semen* into the search box, and came up with three pages of polls about basements and advertisements.

If you see a light at the end of the tunnel make sure it's not a train.

More Jokes...
This is a funny coincidence - look what happens if you rearrange the letters of the following words:
• Dormitory – Dirty room
• Desperation – A rope ends it
• The eyes – They see
• The Morse Code – Here come dots
• Slot machines – Cash lost in me
• Animosity – Is no amity
• A decimal point – I’m a dot in place
• Snooze alarms – alas, no more z’s
• Astronomer – Moon starer
• Mother-in-law – Woman Hitler
• Eleven plus two – Twelve plus one
• Election results – Lies, let’s recount


LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

All copied from www.amiwrongorright.com